Opening The Lie To See What's In It. Do We Really Need To?

Of course not. Let's just take a look, oooh, an old tattered, expired, race card. Nice. A crisp new race card, yikes, one could open a locked door with that one. There's a black and white card, a technicolor card, a digital card, why, there are new cards being drawn every day in public schools, colleges, and universities. Some in crayon.

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Ted Cruz or Rand Paul?

Aaand they're neck and neck! Cruz is looking on the outside, bump drafting the Constitution! Paul doing the same, with foreign policy daddy issues, yet getting Hillary loose in turn number 3! One of them's gonna have to pit soon and their crews are on alert! Should they take 4 tires or two? If two, left side or right side?

Ok, that's a dumb question.

Should the crews fill the cars with gas, or hope for a yellow flag in the next couple of laps? Earnhardt Jr. is looking to pass 'em both on the inside!

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Hey, Nice Hatch Act Violation. What, This Old Thing?

Blatant electioneering on government time is clearly illegal, unless of course you are a government employee working within an administration which prides itself on rewarding it's friends and punishing it's enemies. But don't think a thing about that. It's old news. You see, for this administration, time is the universal balm, healing all wounds, coddling all corruption, straightening every crooked place, and crookeding every straight place. I'm sure there's something "homophobic" in that last sentence there, but will move on anyway.

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Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch Part Deux: What The Frack? *Update added!

Man, they pounded out this story so fast, the paragraphs run together haphazardly and none of the links work, but what the hey, here it is. They usually do much better than this. Maybe they'll fix it when they get to a real computer. I think they're out there on site posting stories with an abacus. As always, we try to report, you try to decide.

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Failure To Prevent Boston Bombing Russian's Fault?

Scotty, you know that beam me up thing we've had going all these years? Uh huh. Push the button: Energize.
 
We all remember the immediate aftermath of the Boston Bombing, and subsequent manhunt, shootout killing of the older brother (don't even want to print his name here), and the the capture of the younger, still awaiting trial.
 
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